| From time-to-time, we stumble upon some golf humor that we feel
the need to share with our customers. If you have some good,
clean, golf humor, feel free to pass it on to us at -
info@goldenteetri-county.com.
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Golf can
best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured
by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of
beer.
Golf! You
hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball
goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the
winner buys the drinks.
Golf is
harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul
balls. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain,
the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip:
your life is in trouble
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the
shot ra rely make a perfect shot.
The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase
"maul it again."
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two
golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly
you play; it is always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and
slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every
green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you
really stink.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme
putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is
you.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it
won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
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Top 10
Caddie Replies...
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#10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that
long?"
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#9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this
course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved
most of the earth."
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#8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much
closer now."
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#7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: "Eventually."
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#6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a
coincidence."
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#5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
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#4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer
golf."
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#3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any
day."
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# 2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left
that an hour ago. "
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And # 1
Best Caddy Comment . . . . .
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too
old . "
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed
off, sir.
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Golf Quotes
Hank Aaron
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in
baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Dave Barry
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always
been hitting the ball.
Jim Bishop
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose
wives think they are out having fun.
Tommy Bolt
Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always
net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.
Gerald R. Ford
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting
fewer spectators.
Paul Harvey
Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and
write down five.
Eric Linklater
All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from
the clubhouse.
Mickey Mantle
He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.
James Patrick Murray
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a
man who is playing golf with his boss.
Brent Musburger
Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf.
Arnold Palmer
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf
game. It's called an eraser.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Woodrow Wilson
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball
with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
William Wordsworth
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
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